It’s Halloween, and we’ve decided to write an article that will both infuriate you and make you cringe. Here’s our Chelsea SPOOKY XI, past and present. In advance, we’re sorry for these awful puns.
Thibaut Gore-tois – The 2015/16 campaign.
Branislav Ivano-witch – Ivanovic running down the right-hand-side and whipping in the cross. Terrifying, for the Chelsea faithful, that is.
John Terry-fied – Dare we bring up when he missed the penalty in the Moscow shootout? Perhaps the scariest moment of my entire existence.
Ghastly Cole – The tail end of his Chelsea career… it still haunts me.
Danny Drink-blood – Diego Costa famously had horse placenta injected into his hamstring in order to be fit for the 2014 Champions League final. Perhaps Drinkwater had a different strategy to overcome his calf injury?
N’Ghosto Kante – It would explain why he’s everywhere, all the time. He can phase through walls and haunt the opposition’s midfield.
Marco Van Gin-hell – Remember when he ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament in the League Cup? Now THAT was scary, nobody’s leg should bend that way.
Frankenstein Lampard – Lampard rose from the dead in order to score against us against at the Etihad. What a frightening moment that was…
Charly Musond-argh – *sigh*.
Demba Boo – We feel the need to apologise for this one, but don’t blame us, blame Twitter user @Orionigel – it’s all his fault.
Die-ghoul Costa – Costa is scary enough is it is, we don’t need to throw a ghoul into the equation.
Subs: Asmir Bego-witch, Asier Hell Horno, Davide Zappa-ghosta, Steve Sid-hell, Ethan Ampa-boo, Dead-en Hazard, Samuel Et’boo.
Thanks for everyone for sending in these… interesting, ideas.
N’ghosto Kante
— . (@KingKhann93) 31 October 2017
Demba Boo
— Nigel (@Orionigel) 31 October 2017
Frankenstein Lampard
— Simon Phillips (@SiPhillipsCFC) 31 October 2017
Ghastly Cole
— . (@SimplyAIvaro) 31 October 2017
Ethan Ampaboo
— . (@SimplyAIvaro) 31 October 2017
@talkchelsea dead-en Hazard
— i hate scrooges (@Megxo4u) 31 October 2017
Michy BATShuayi
— Jonty Colman (@JontyC123) 31 October 2017
Asier Hell Horno
— Sam (@samwilkinsqpr) 31 October 2017
Scary Dixon
— John Clarke (@johntania2008) 31 October 2017
Nicolas Anhellka
— Zappa🇮🇹 (@zappycosta) 31 October 2017
Davide Zappa-Ghosta 👻👻
— Jennifer Chee (@jennchee) 31 October 2017
Jimmy Graves, Charlie Spook,Jimmy Floyd Bloodbank, Bobby Ghould,Ruud Guillotine.
— Kevin McCarthy (@KevinMc16365572) 31 October 2017
Micheal HELL-ssien
— i hate scrooges (@Megxo4u) 31 October 2017
Quares-mare, An-Die Shevchenko, Steve Sidwell
— Harv (@PrettyBoyHarv) 31 October 2017
Ghouliano Belletti 👻
— Alan (@Hilarioioio) 31 October 2017
Ethan Vampadu.
— John Hanna (@JohnHanna22) 31 October 2017
Cesc Fabre-ghost
— Moody Church (@MoodyChurch13) 31 October 2017
Thibaut Corpse-ois
— Kyle Prangnell (@K_Prangnell) 31 October 2017
And the scariest of them all…
Gary Cahill
— #BoardOut (@SilkyAndreas) 31 October 2017
